she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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