what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
