I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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