We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
