His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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