how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
