Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
