She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This baby is an asshole
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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