Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
