On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
