thus making me awesome and them whores
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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