So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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