then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
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Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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