2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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