plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
