walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
