Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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