Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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