Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize