You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the condom got lost in my hair
Life is so much better after having sex.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have aggressive nipples.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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