we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize