I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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