go do what you do best...puke behind churches
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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