If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
