i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
