I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
