no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize