whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
