I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize