sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
