How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
