shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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