OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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