shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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