Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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