My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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