omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
