I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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