He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
