Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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