I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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