You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
