she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
