yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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