i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize