girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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