Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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