she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
