so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
