Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
