Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
