Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
