his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
