I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am available for nakedness
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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