Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
