dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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