She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
