Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

She does have a great personality.

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

Yeah, in her vagina.

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(949): View more from California

im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+45): View more from Denmark

The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.

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(310): View more from California

He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.

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