So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.