Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Its about making memories worth repressing
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.