I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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