You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
