Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
we should paint friendship bongs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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