this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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