just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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