I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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